Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
