Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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