Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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