and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
