Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.

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(518): View more from New York

he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"

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(443): View more from Maryland

THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS

(1-443): View more from Maryland

excuse me?

(443): View more from Maryland

I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.

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(352): View more from Florida

How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?

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(516): View more from New York

Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half

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