I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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