He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize