Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Me too!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
