we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize