the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize