dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
