I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize