Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
