And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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