So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
