So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
