You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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