Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
