I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
