Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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