You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
