I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think your dad took our porno
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
