dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
