I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
