..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
