oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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