Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize