hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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