Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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