I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
