I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
