Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
