People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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