I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
