So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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