Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
