Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
