the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
