With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
