just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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