Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

You don't understand. I'm not like you.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?

(410): View more from Maryland

The recession has changed everything man.

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(847): View more from Illinois

okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

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(541): View more from Oregon

rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex

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