I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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