It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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