i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
