i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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