I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
