I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
