if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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