we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
