Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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