I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
