batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
