yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
