never play flip cup with pint glasses
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
