Buhtt sex?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
