Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm really busy with my period
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