I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She's the barista slut.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize