I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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