I heard we made out
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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