Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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