Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
